Any person on the internet knows that human beings will procreate with pretty much anything. We’re a pretty pervy species. Even if you go back 90,000 years, you’ll find early hominids getting frisky with other branches of the human family tree. How do we know this? We’ve got a DNA sample and the paternity test to prove it.

Yo momma is a Neanderthal

Scientists have known about the existence of several different groups belonging to the human family for quite a while. Most people are familiar with Neanderthals. There’s also the Denisovans, named after the cave in Siberia where their remains were found. Until recently, scientists thought interbreeding between groups to be, ahem, unfruitful. Boy, were they wrong.

Flickr

Turns out early humans were swinging between family branches quite often, mixing up DNA like a Long Island Iced Tea. The evidence is the tiny bits of Neanderthal or Denisovan DNA found in modern human DNA.

And the father is. . .

In a cave in Siberia, scientists found an ancient finger bone from a 13-year-old girl. Her DNA showed that her mother was a Neanderthal but her father wasn’t. He was a Denisovan, a different, distinctive group of early humans.

National Geographic

Who knows what could have brought them together? Maybe Ms. Neanderthal had liked his brow ridge or the fact that he had survived to adulthood. Maybe it was one seriously romantic cave.

Gotcha!

Regardless of the why, those two crazy kids created offspring. Their child’s fingerbone is evidence of the earliest known incidence of the horizontal mambo between groups of ancient hominids.

Pixabay / 12019

Now scientists have solid proof instead of traces in human DNA thousands of years afterward. It is as good as catching them in the act, minus the embarrassment and the potential blackmail.